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The fall color peaked in North Carolina last weekend, and although we are still blessed with lovely weather, we are tumbling
quickly toward winter. I find myself counting the days to the solstice, not because I have some wonderful ritual planned,
but because it marks the beginning of the return of the light.
In the meantime, darkness continues to descend earlier each day and, for the first time that I can remember, I am actually
embracing the turning inward that accompanies this time of year. I am struggling to find a way to live by intentions, rather
than goals, each day and to fill my moments with things about which I am passionate. I feel I am learning to live fully,
and I have recovered from the depression that consumed most of my summer--another first, because depression usually links
itself to the fall and winter in my experience. I am moving rapidly toward a horizon that I often can't see. I get glimpses--for
example, I am reconnecting with friends I lost more than a decade ago, I am unburying myself from layers and layers of "not
me" I have accumulated in the last eleven years, I have started writing both fiction and nonfiction again (no poetry
yet, but I'm feeling new urges in that direction, too), and I am experimenting with ways to reconnect with my body. I even
have the idea for my next book-length manuscript.
I'm sure that horizon keeps moving further away as I move toward it, but I have promised myself that by June, 2006 I will
be living the life of my dreams. Each day is a step toward that realization, and I feel blessed to have the support of so
many friends as I stumble along.
May your life be lit
with the warmth
of your own internal fire!
Kristine
Click here to go to kristinegoad.com
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