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December 2, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 32,039 I am giving myself the day off from everything. I am going to edit one more of Hans's short stories, and then I am going to sit on the couch the rest of the day and read whatever I want. I can't remember the last time I let myself do that. And maybe tomorrow, I'll be able to move without groaning with every step! December 1, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 32,039 "Ran" the Seattle Half-Marathon with 5,000 other people today. 'Nuff said. November 30, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 378 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 32,039 The last day of the month! It's pretty obvious, especially since it's 3:59 p.m. and I haven't written any NaNo words yet today, that I am not going to make my goal of 50,000 words. I'm okay with this, and really kind of amazed at the whole process. When I count back over the month, there were ten days that I did no writing at all--one-third of the month! In the remaining two-thirds, however, I managed to crank out more than 30,000 words and take a one-sentence novel idea to a first-draft of 164 pages (so far). So, we can chalk this up as a failure--certainly, if I were taking Tad's freshman seminar where I was required to turn in a page of writing every day, I would have failed--due largely to my difficulty juggling the wide-ranging projects in my life this month. Or, we can chalk it up as a success in that it got me moving on another large project, something I had every intention of shying away from for a long while, and I can honestly tell potential agents and editors that I am at work on a novel. I'm going to choose the success option, but you're free to see it differently.
I spent the day finishing up my Bike Love essay for Breakaway Books' writing competition. I had started it, and started it over, previously, but time kept getting away from me and I never got back to it. The deadline was today, however, and when I read over my second start on the essay, I decided it deserved to be finished. So while my NaNo word count is at zero still for the day, I have written just over 1,000 non-NaNo words. So, I now have two essays out there awaiting judgment, and I'm pretty happy with both of them. The bike love essay is better than I had hoped. It's called "Letting Go," and it's about learning to trust my bike even when I wasn't sure I could trust myself. The interesting thing was that when I needed the words fast today, they were there for me. NaNoWriMo may have been a good mental lubricant. Overall, it's been an excellent month for me, writing and otherwise.
Okay, it's now 7:50 p.m. and I am officially calling it NaNoWriMo quits. I crossed 32,000 words tonight--that's 64% of my initial goal of 50,000, and I'm really pleased with that. If you take into account the ten days that I didn't write this month, that leaves me only about 2,500 words behind.
I have promised myself and Hans that I will reach the 50,000 word mark with this project by Christmas day. I will be getting up at 6:00 a.m. to workout and write before work, and will continue to update my progress on this site until that deadline.
Thanks for playing along with me! It's been fun! November 29, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 31,661 Two days left and you'd think I'd be here writing my @#% off, but I spent the day ordering airline tickets for Hans's and my trip to visit my family next month, meeting my aunt to pick up work-related stuff for next week, and picking up my half-marathon bib and chip. It only took fifteen minutes to pick up the bib and chip, get my race T-shirt, buy 2 PowerGels and a pair of running socks, but more than an hour to get out of Seattle--the pedestrians were so thick in the cross-walks that cars literally could not turn a corner.
One of the things I've learned through this whole exercise is that once 7:00 p.m. hits, if I haven't done any writing yet, I'm likely to call the day a wash and dive into a movie or t.v. instead of the manuscript. There have been some exceptions to this, but few. November 28, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 469 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 31,661 Happy Thanksgiving!
I got up at 6:00 this morning to write, but spent most of the three hours I intended to write only reading maps and the North Cascades National Park website. But, at the last, I did get a move on. I realized that I drove the entire SR 20 route through the NP on my way to the Methow Valley in the Okanogan for Danskin Camp two summers ago. That gives me a touch more confidence, and I'm ready to get Elizabeth moving again. November 27, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 596 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 31,192 7:22 p.m. I'm really psyched because I was in the middle of writing this travel sequence that I was sure was just filler crap, when all of a sudden I'm writing this major epiphany for my character! It even kinda' happens in about the right place, somewhere on page 159, I think. It's very cool to have something just sneak up on you like this! I know I was working toward it, consciously and subconsciously, I just didn't realize it was so close until suddenly there it was.
The problem is, I'm afraid to write from here, because now the character has had the epiphany and will be entering ground--both physical and emotional--that I have not trod upon. Now she and I fall into this abyss together, and she goes off into these mountains that I've not been to, alone--again, new territory for both of us, and starts a forest fire that somehow she has to recover, or not recover, from. Terrifying.
I have to write for about another 30 minutes though, and at least try to get 1,000 words in for the day. Somehow the day got eaten up with Thanksgiving preparations and errands and tying up loose ends elsewhere, and now there's this fear thing.... November 26, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 1,015 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 30,596 12:40 p.m. I FINALLY cleared 30,000 words! I'm getting there a few days later than I had hoped, but I'm glad to finally be there. In the national ranking, I'm somewhere in the middle third of page 20 out of 130 pages of participants, which makes me feel a little better, but I still have a lot of work to do. The writing is feeling pretty crappy. I think from here on in there can be no thinking, and especially NO RETHINKING, involved. It is just going to be vomit on the page and move on. If I use the word "however" five times in one paragraph, so be it. I'll have to go back and change it in December. Or January. Okay, back to work. November 25, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 2,345 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 29,581 My goal today was to get in the 3,826 words I need per day this week to get to 50,000. It's now 11:16 p.m., however, and I have been writing pure crap for at least the last 90 minutes, and drivel the entire day. When I checked my daily word count and it came up 2345, I decided that was a perfectly wonderful number to end on, and I'm calling it quits. I got a three mile run in today, and edited two of Hans's short stories and didn't get around to working on this until about 3:30. Tomorrow I need to talk to Sallie Mae about lowering or deferring my payments temporarily and I need to buy a turkey, but then it's nothing but writing. I can do this.
1:15 a.m. Good news and bad: Good, the novel has been completely uploaded and is current on this site (there are still mistakes in punctuation as I know I haven't caught all the characters that got deleted in the upload). Bad, I've spent the last two hours uploading instead of writing, and realized that I have to go find the building where I'll be working tomorrow, so that will cut into my writing. It's always something, but then those somethings end up sounding like excuses.... November 24, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 4,650 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 27,236 10:18 a.m. I have 601 words as I head out to swim practice, my last one until I return from North Carolina sometime in the future. Then I have to stop at the pharmacy, but I will spend the rest of the day home writing. I will definitely cross the 25,000 word mark today, but my goal is to cross the 30,000 word mark. I started at 45% and hope to cross the 60% line today. It's asking a lot, more than I've ever written in one day, but the words seem to be flowing so I'm sticking to the goal.
6:41 p.m. I've put on a burst of speed today, stopping for dinner now at 4,042 words for the day. I will be back to write some more when dinner is over. I have to watch Alias at 9:00--Sydney is my favorite t.v. chick now that Max on Dark Angel is no longer available--but may be back at 10:00 to crank out a few more words. We'll see. I'm 53% of the way through the project, 80% of the way through my month, but still hopeful.
8:54 p.m. Hans has informed me that I don't get Alias tonight (she's not on), so I'm stopping to take 30 minutes out to see Malcolm in the Middle. No promises on whether or not I come back. I'm at 4,459 words for the day, and I'm pretty much burned out. Now my following Elizabeth around is just filler, and it is beginning to take on the feel of Your Mileage May Vary, especially when Elizabeth decides to have a double waffle cone while she waits to be called at the pizza parlor next door when her pizza is ready. Lame, lame, lame. But forward motion is forward motion, and cutting is easier that filling in gaps. November 23, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 1,411 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 22,586 It's 6:19 and I'm calling it quits for now to eat dinner and watch movies with Hans. We spent the morning starting our Christmas shopping and watching the new Harry Potter movie with a theater full of excited kids. (It is funny how many movies Hans and I, or Candy and I, go to where we're the only adult patrons without children in tow!) The words I did manage to bang out today all came in about a two hour block, which for me, is quite speedy. Maybe after the movies (Reign of Fire and Thirteen Conversations About One Thing), I'll come back and try to at least get to 2,000. I'm currently 45% of the way through this project and feeling pretty good about that, despite the fact that I am well behind my goals for the 23rd of November. November 22, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 2,683 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 21,175 CORRECTION: It has been brought to my attention that my loving husband did not rake a mere 80 gallons of leaves on my behalf yesterday. Instead, he raked a whopping 140 gallons of stomped-down, jam-packed, wet leaves yesterday on my behalf. Thank you, honey.
12:23 p.m. I'm getting a late start today because I spent a little while reading one of Hans's stories, but while I was up last night being an insomniac, I wrote 180 words, and I'm counting them toward today's total. So, now, off to work.
8:02 p.m. I am 42.35% of the way through this project! That isn't fantastic, considering I'm 73.33% through the number of days I have to complete this project, but I'm having fun!! Once I finally got moving with her on the Rez, I've really been enjoying the writing. It's a shame it took so long for me to see my way to this. There is, of course, still the chance that this section will all have to be cut because it may not satisfy any needs of the overall story arc, but the point is, I'm working and it's good.
At this point, I have no predictions about whether I will be able to blast through the remaining 58% of this novel in the next eight days, but I am going to try. Unfortunately, I keep forgetting about the fact that I also need to finish my Bike Love essay and send that off by the 30th, and that I need to find out whether PowerAde and PowerGel are gluten-free so that I can decide what nutritional support I can safely use during the 1/2 marathon NEXT Sunday. November 21, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 1,022 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 18,492 Well, there obviously was not a lot of writing today although there were LOTS of butt-in-the-seat hours. Hans finished off the rest of the leaves--80 gallons of them--today so that I could write, but I ended up staring at a map and worrying about whether I should follow Elizabeth on her mini tour of Western Washington or skip ahead because I couldn't think of anything plot or character-wise to make following her worthwhile. Then Kathy called and Mom called and I called Helen and finally, as I was ending tonight, I feel like this trip is justified and I think I might be on to something to make that so. So, tomorrow I'm editing one or two of Hans's short stories, and then I'm back to writing. I'm not going to bother uploading the words from yesterday and today, as it's after 1:00 a.m. and it takes too long for me to hunt around and replace all the apostrophes that this web builder drops when I import from word. I'll upload tomorrow after I have crossed the 20,000 word mark. The NaNo people sent an email at the beginning of the week urging those of us who are behind to race for the 30,000 word mark this week. I have a LOOOONG way to go, but no plans for the weekend except one three-mile run and one one-hour swim practice--my last for several months unfortunately. Keep your fingers crossed that inspiration strikes and I get this thing moving. November 20, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 105 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 17,470 I'm terrible. I spent about two hours raking leaves this morning, during which a "people" problem arose and I then spent several hours and a great deal of emotional energy dealing with and recovering from. I really don't like dishonest people, and I especially don't like dishonest people who try to make me look bad to cover for their own backhanded business practices. Let's just say, it was not a good day. Once I had done all I could do to rectify the situation that had developed, I did make it to the library and picked up a hiking in the North Cascades book. Then I came home and discovered my own personal stash of National Park Service maps and brochures from my travels around Washington and spent about an hour perusing those to determine which might be helpful to this project. Then finally I got on the Internet to see what I could learn about the Makah since Hans and I only drove through their reservation late one night without stopping. I ended up discovering their website which includes tons of information on their whaling practices, and just discovered a document prepared and presented by the U.S. on the Makah's behalf to the International Whaling Commission in support of continued whaling in the amount of 5 grays per year. It's really fascinating! Seriously, for a government document, it is anything but dull. So, I'm giving in to it. Today will probably just be a wash and/or about research, with lots of writing tomorrow. I'm beginning to see a plan forming at least for what's going to happen on this mini-road trip. Now it's time for Ed. November 19, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 4,088 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 17,365 This was my most productive day yet, although I think it was also my longest day yet. My crazy goal for myself was to hit the 20,000 word mark, but that obviously didn't happen. Still, I am amazed that I churned out what I did today, considering I don't really know what I'm doing. People just show up and interactions happen and then there are those weird dreams that may not be working, and somehow it keeps moving forward. I'm on page 98, which seems like a good time to up the stakes again, so hopefully that's what I'm about to do. I'm a little surprised that Elizabeth is leaving the Olympic Peninsula and I managed to write about her working and living there based only one my one visit and a few pages from a natural history guide. I'm not sure how evocative of place I've been, but there is at least a skeleton here that I can go back and flesh out if necessary. From here, she moves onto the northern part of the peninsula, which I am a little more familiar with, and then into the North Cascades which I'm pretty much going to be winging again. The library books are due tomorrow, so it's probably time to trade in my ONP books for North Cascades National Park books.
Anyway, its midnight and I still have to upload several pages, so I'm calling it quits. I'll be back. November 18, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 2,144 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 13,277 I learned today that I haven't been receiving emails sent from this website all month, which really bums me out. But the link to my email (and the email address) have been updated, so hopefully my one fan will be able to reach me now whenever he so pleases.
Can we just say that this is crap and move on? Even a character driven novel has to have something happen every once in awhile! Nothing is happening here. I have no idea if any of this is even remotely interesting to anyone who lives outside my head. And I realized that I just spent several pages describing two marine animals to children and that both of those animals are stationary and eat by circulating air through their shell so they can siphon plankton. I should have described at least one animal that can move around. Like a seastar which eats by spitting its stomach out into an open bivalve and dissolving the animal it wants to eat, or like a snail that uses a radula to drill a hole into another animal's shell and then dissolves that animal with acid it produces before sucking the dissolved meal up. But then, again, none of this probably matters because it probably all sucks.
But on the word count front, things are definitely improving. If I agree to write on Thanksgiving, I can still get to 50,000 words this month if I write 3,060 words a day for the next two weeks (or 3,338 words a day if I want Thanksgiving off). Tomorrow is for a 3 mile run and novel writing ONLY, so we'll see how many words we can crank out. November 17, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 1,441 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 11,133 Okay, the *KICK* Tad (shhh, that's his secret name) sent me via email last week must have finally found the appropriate place on my body, because I am now officially back to work. I'm not particularly excited about where this is going, but it did follow the mental plan I'd made for myself, and there was forward motion, so I'm not really complaining. There will need to be a great deal more forward motion in the remaining twelve (or 13 if I have to write on Thanksgiving) days if I'm going to get to 50,000. I really want to get there, especially since I had such a strong start on this (word-count wise) and will have no time to write once I start working full-time next month. (The job I've taken eats the best hours out of the day, so that there won't be any energy left to write when I get home at 9:00 and so that I'd have to get up at 6:00 a.m. to get anything done before work. But, it's money, and even I need that every once in awhile.) So keep coming back for some serious writing. It's on the way. Seriously. On the way.
Oh, and I did go to the track today. I ran twelve miles and nearly started a fight with a soccer dad but it did not come to blows (I was in a loopy kind of altered state by 6 miles, determined to get to twelve by the time I had in 10 miles, and down right grumpy by the time I hit 11) and I came home and officially registered for the Seattle 1/2 Marathon on December 1. I will finish, though it will be slow. Whether I will walk the next day is still unknown. November 16, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 9,692 Just call me SLACKERGRRL! It was stormy and cold and raining and windy and I didn't go to the track to run ten or twelve or thirteen or even three miles. Nor did I write anything on my novel. Instead, I spent the entire day making changes to my iMusings website so that when people visit my kristinegoad.com site, and click on a link to my iMusings or NaNoWriMo sites, all the links would work and everything would look as professional as it could (given that I'm writing these and they are my informal sites). Then, more movies with Hans. I did make gluten-free brownies and boy are they Yummy! They would fool anyone, they are so much like the real thing. Too bad they cost $7 a package! November 15, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 9,692 Today I had to get an allergy shot (I'm finally back in maintenance now, though, and can go back to my once a month schedule), and rake leaves, and then I was still so jazzed about pitching Oprah yesterday that I wrote my query to Weight Watchers. (I cried while I wrote it. Who's premenstrual?) Then, I took the night off to watch movies with Hans. Kinda' lame, but I've got the weekend.... November 14, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 9,692 Okay, yesterday I allowed myself to be scattered all day and got no work done on anything whatsoever. (Except going to the grocery store and making my first gluten-free pizza.) Today, I pitched a show idea to Oprah, and then had several hours (like four) to spend on the novel, and did absolutely nothing. I was very, very bad. I reread the novel, at least the first two chapters of it. Then, I really tried to figure out how to get moving again, but got nowhere. I decided that she's going to go check on some nesting birds, but then I didn't know what kind of nesting birds she could check on, so I started reading one of my natural history books. As I was doing so I realized that first chapter hiker dude was breaking the law if he spent the night on the beach down by Queets, learned about a couple of cool birds, but made absolutely no progress toward making a decision about where this chapter is going. I'm lame. Tomorrow there will be writing, I promise.
As for the good news, Hans gave me my domain name (kristinegoad.com) for Christmas along with a business card website! Now I just have to get writing so there is a writing career to actually promote on the site.... November 13, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 9,692
November 12, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 9,692 Another day of zero words here, but that's going to change soon. Mary's paper took me longer than I'd anticipated--like 24 hours longer--but I just got it back off to her so I can only hope that I was of some help. It is now 4:23 a.m. (on November 13) and I am finally taking off the editing hat, going to sleep, and putting on the writing hat when I awaken. (If I awaken!) See you in the tomorrow. I have good news to share. November 11, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 9,692
November 10, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 906 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 9,692 Not the weekend I had imagined. When I posted my count on Friday, I was unaware that Mary had emailed me her dissertation to be edited. I spent Saturday and most of today on that, although I did take time out to see BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE--definitely SEE THIS MOVIE! I also went to my first Seattle Writergrrls NaNoWriMo meeting tonight. That was really fun! It's been so long since I've been part of a group of people who were actually working seriously as writers. Great energy! We spent the last hour and a half writing, and that's when I managed to squeeze out these paltry 906 words longhand. I can't believe I haven't even broken 10,000 yet! My new goal is to do nothing but rake leaves tomorrow morning to fulfill my duties to Hans and the condo in exchange for me not being on duty at all the rest of the day, then to finish Mary's paper no matter what that takes. Tuesday will begin with an eleven mile run at the track, followed by my query to Oprah, followed by several thousand words of this novel. Wednesday will begin with a query to whomever I decide is going to get the back page essay I'm considering, followed by even more thousands of words of this novel. Thursday will involve a query about a Your Mileage May Vary excerpt to Self, even though I'm not sure they're going to let me break in there with the kind of piece I'm envisioning, and there will probably be a need for grocery shopping and cooking by then. And a need for an allergy shot on Thursday or Friday, a twelve mile run on Saturday and maybe an all-group Seattle Writergrrls monthly meeting, swimming on Sunday with the team and maybe a small group Seattle Writergrrls weekly meeting, and I need to get to the pool sometime between now and Sunday to work on flipturns, butterfly, and hand entry.
Marc Graham has finally accepted my challenge to be my NaNoWriMo arch nemesis after some negotiation over conditions. I am currently leading him by about 5,000 words, but I am not confident that my lead will hold. For those of you interested in Hans's doings, I have actually caught him on more than one occasion writing! When I asked if it was the novel he had suggested he might write, he said that it was probably a short story, but immediately following my discovery of his secret, he erased the entire thing. More updates to follow.
Oh, and an update on Your Mileage May Vary: I'm back to only two agents currently considering it. The third one wrote me to say that after reading three chapters, she felt I wrote well but that she wasn't passionate enough about my project.
Career/Life Update: I batted around the idea this morning of applying for a Stegner Fellowship to study formally for two more years as a writer. My idea was that it would be really cool to spend two years working, as a poet, on deepening my experience and understanding of the world and on writing in a more profound way. To me, it seemed poetry, rather than fiction, would be a good opportunity for that kind of exploration as well as a good chance to be more experimental with my language and style. At the conclusion of the fellowship, my goal would be to be a heavyweight thinker and writer.
In the end, Hans and I agreed that I am not the best candidate for that program, the most elite writing program in the country, right now: I don't have a poetry portfolio strong enough to win me a seat, nor do I any longer have the right literary acquaintances to be able to ask for references. So, beginning in January, after I have benefited from the rigors of NaNoWriMo and regular query submissions, I want to design and begin a course of rigorous study and writing to see how far I can get on my own. If I am successful, perhaps I won't need a Stegner. If at the end of the year, working with a mentor and a small group of other writers appeals to me, I will apply for the fellowship with a stronger portfolio and a list of people I can ask for references. Tad, Chad, Marc, Kathy, Zoi, Mary, and anyone else out there who still talks to me (at least electronically), please help me stick to this resolution. November 9, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 8,786
November 8, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 1,856 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 8,786 I managed to crank out about 500 words while I was waiting in the allergist's office after my shot today. I've been busy getting out queries the last few days--it took me two days to write the query to Woman's World, Hans thought my first one lacked tug-at-the-heartstrings details, so he wrote one that I thought lacked narrative quality, and finally we agreed that my second finished effort combined enough details with enough narrative tone. I'm working on a story idea to pitch to Oprah next, and a back page essay to pitch to Women's Health and Fitness or Weight Watchers, I haven't decided which yet. I'm hoping to get back to the novel heavy this weekend, and be well over 10,000 words by the NaNoWriMo meeting at Hugo House on Sunday at 5:30.
11:40 P.M. I'm going to bed. I finished 1,856 words today, which is amazing considering the few hours I had to spend. This earthquake stuff just seemed to write itself. Remember, quantity not quality here. Hopefully, it will stay this easy this weekend so that I can catch back up. I'm currently 5,006 words behind schedule. That's a challenge, but I think I'm up to it.
See you in the a.m. November 7, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 6,940
November 6, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 0 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 6,940
November 5, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 44 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 6,940 What an amazing day! I only wrote one sentence on the novel today because I needed to spend the day researching magazines to send pieces of Your Mileage May Vary to. (I need "clips" from magazines to help convince editors, and maybe even agents, that there's a market for my voice and my story.) I spent four hours at the library today acquainting myself with their resources. The Literary Market Place yielded the names of two agents I still might try as well as several websites to check out regarding writers workshops. Writers Market 2003 offered some good advice on writing for online magazines. And The American Directory of Writers' Guidelines (2nd Edition) turned out to be a goldmine of information, 1,300 freelance opportunities waiting to be pounced on. So I came home totally stoked--I found a market that is perfect, even though it is also somewhat cheesy, for a My Story short version of YMMV. That query will be written tomorrow. I also splurged on a haircut--my first in six months--which totally helped with the whole self-image thing, then VOTED, and went to see Sweet Home Alabama with Hans at the Edmonds Theatre. I came out of it feeling really good (the whole point after all), and had a renewed vision for an old story that I think I'm finally mature enough to write. So my next project, after I totally revise this novel (which I think is acquiring the working title, Continuum or Continuity, I don't know yet), is going to be a screenplay based on that wedding story I was playing around with back in '96. It will be much cooler now, that I've done the whole wedding thing and come out the other side. Hans went to bed early and I stayed up, supposedly to write, but instead I get sucked into an episode of Charmed and then an episode of Spin City (both reruns, but new to me). Before you totally berate me for wasting an hour and a half of prime writing time, however, you should know that as I was turning off the t.v., I caught sight of the 5x7 photo I ordered of myself from the 2002 Danskin triathlon, and the perfect story idea hit me, AND I even know who to send it to, thanks to my library research today.
So, what I've been trying to say is that I feel creative, productive, energized, capable and hopeful today. Somewhere in the last six months, my vision of myself changed from "aspiring writer" to "emerging writer." And somewhere in the last three weeks, my vision of myself has changed from "emerging writer" to simply "writer." I think Bookfest, where I made contacts and introduced myself as a writer with a completed manuscript available, and joining the Seattle Writergrrls internet list has totally altered my own perception of who I am. And, as a result, I feel totally inspired and like I'm finally on the right track after being on the wrong track for a reallllly long time. So, please, save your berating about my low productivity level until Sunday. If I haven't caught back up by then, feel free to send me your insults and admonishings.
Love. November 4, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 1,724 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 6,896 I woke up this morning and realized that I might be telling this story wrong. The event that I'm building toward, at the climax, should maybe start the book, and then subsequent chapters could alternate between flashback and moving forward after that scene. So you see the scene that changes her life forever first, then see how she got there and what it means for the rest of her life. In my mind, it seems like a really solid structure. But, since I don't know how she gets to that climax event yet, I think maybe I need to write this version first to help me figure it out. So, these 50,000 words--which should be enough to get me to the climax event--might just be an outline and all of my background thinking. I might then have to turn around in December and start over from the beginning. If that's the case, however, I think it will be easier to write the second time, and maybe even more exciting. The story is a little too internal, too safe, too boring right now.
Cranked out exactly (don't know how I did that) my quota today. I'm going to keep going with this version, then do major revisions later. November 3, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 2,377 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 5,196 Okay, I'm in serious trouble here. I have NO idea where to go next. Something has to HAPPEN at some point, it can't all be character development. But I have no more story.... I know what the climax is, but I don't know how she gets there, and several "somethings" have to happen between now and then and I have no idea what those somethings are. Elizabeth has to be more narrowly defined, we have to see the edges of her comfort zone. We don't know yet why she chose this place, or even specifically what this place is, or what she's afraid of (other than another woman having a child with her soon-to-be ex). Something has to happen to push her toward something she's afraid of. And that something's not here, at least not in the current job description she has. So she chose this place because it's safe--it's an edge, but there's no real threat of her going over that edge. What's going to push her toward that edge? It's not her book research or her beach walks or her preparations for public presentations, all the things she's been doing up to now. What? It's something that terrifies her, but that she somehow handles well and that impresses her supervisor, causing her to get the transfer that's going to lead to more danger and the eventual climax. I haven't really defined that this current place is safe for Elizabeth, so maybe I need to do that, then raise the stakes a notch. But HOW????
I suck at this making it up as you go along thing! I haven't given myself permission to write crap and muck around in the story until I find the arc yet. I don't want to muck around! I want to get it right the first time, because I know how hard revision is. But at this point, it looks like it's time to muck around. It's 2:29 and I have 2,330 words still to write today to catch up to my goal. So I better go get mucking...
Okay, I'm moving again. It's all backstory and explanation, but they're words and they have to be written sometime. At this point, 3:40, I've written enough to bring me up to the 3,448 word-mark, where I SHOULD have been yesterday. Now I just have to write today's 1,724 words!
8:09 p.m. I'm calling it quits for the day, having written 1,827 words. It meets my daily quota for today, but only takes 103 words off yesterday's deficit. Still, I'm pretty psyched considering I spent a significant amount of time staring at a blank screen today. I'll be back tomorrow after a ten mile run and a couple hours magazine research at the library.
1:06 a.m. Technically, it's now November 4, but in November, by special NaNoWriMo privilege, a day will be defined by the time in between periods of sleep. By that definition, it is still Day 3 of NaNoWriMo. I couldn't go to sleep leaving myself hundreds of words behind schedule. So I got back to work and cranked out enough words to make up for yesterday's deficit. I am now 24 words AHEAD of schedule, as my goal for the end of 3 days was 5,172 words. The writing is getting progressively crappier, but all I care about at this late hour is that I am still even bothering to write. The spacing is messed up on the novel page--as it increases every time I get in there to make an update--but I'm too tired to deal with it now. Sleeeeeep. November 2, 2002 DAILY WORD COUNT: 1,038 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 2,819 Last night while Hans watched an hour of cop television, I wrote another 500 words, bringing my November 1 total to 1,781. That means I did make my quota. If you divide 50,000 words by 30 days, you get 1,667 words per day. But since I know I'm not writing on Thanksgiving, I divide by 29 days, and my quota is 1,724 words per day. I'll check back in later, when I've finished writing today.
Not sure I'm finished for the day, but I'm finished for now. I'm currently 696 words short of my goal for the day, but I need time to think and Hans and I are going to go see a showing of Frida. I'm worried I'm not going to have enough going on in this novel to keep anyone reading. Maybe, as I first thought, this idea is just a short story and not a novel? I have no way of knowing yet. So far, the writing has been kind of fun. It comes in spurts. I'll sit for several minutes not knowing what to write about next, then a scene will present itself to me and I'll write furiously all the way through it. Hopefully, it will all be so easy. November 1, 2002
DAILY WORD COUNT: 1,288 TOTAL WORD COUNT: 1,288 Well, we're off! I'm 300 words behind schedule, but not worried. At least not about the 300 words. What I am worried about is that I don't know enough to write this novel. Really don't know enough. I had hoped that fiction would be easier than non-fiction, but I'm still feeling that mandate to be "true to life" and wishing I had more experience with the stuff in this novel. Maybe I'm not very good at making stuff up. Anyway, I wrote about 1,000 words more than I thought I might today, so that's something. October 31, 2002 Happy Halloween!
I made it to the library yesterday and found several books that will help with getting me comfortable on the Olympic peninsula. I picked up two trail guides through Olympic National Park, a natural history of ONP, The Great Northwest Nature Factbook by Ann Saling that I used to use when researching my beach walk presentations, and Gifts of the Wild: A Woman's Book of Adventure that has nothing to do with ONP, but will serve as inspiration.
Hans is out at a movie today, trying to cleanse his own mind because he's been kicking around another screenplay idea and maybe even a novel. He needed the break from me, the condo, and his own head, so I'm hoping it will be a good day for him. With him out of the apartment, however, it's hard not to just start writing this novel. I'm scared that when I do sit down tomorrow nothing will come, so I'd like to write something today to fall back on in case that happens. But I won't. I'll spend the day writing my query to SELF about a YMMV excerpt and working on my Bike Love essay that's due no later than November 30.
In preparation for the start of NaNoWriMo, however, I am doing a "cutting the ties" ceremony today. You tie string around your wrists and ankles in the morning to signify feelings of restraint, and then cut them off before you go to sleep to signify feelings of freedom. I'm hoping this will help me feel freer creatively than I have in recent weeks. I've never done this ceremony before, but it sounded worthwhile. I'll know tomorrow! October 30, 2002 I'm a little closer to knowing what this novel will be about. I'm going with the woman who starts a forest fire idea that Hans's mom gave me at the end of the summer, but there's still a lot to flesh out. The most difficult thing is visualizing how she starts the fire in the first place, since that is such a terrifying thing in my mind. But I'm working on naming her. I think she's going to be about 38, meaning born around 1964, and the most popular names between 1964 and 1972 included Elizabeth, Lisa, Maria, and Teresa. Lisa is a possibility, but I think I'm going to go with Elizabeth even though I didn't particularly like the one Liz I knew and Beth sounds altogether too mousy. I know where she is in her personal life and where she's going and at what time she starts the fire. I know where, geographically, the story begins, but I'm not sure where emotionally. I'm not sure how she gets to the forest to start the fire, either. Nor do I have any other "plot points" in addition to the fire, beyond a divorce hearing and meeting another man. The other man is going to be critical, but I don't know who he is yet. All I know is that Elizabeth is "off" men and does everything she can to keep this man out. Not much there, huh?
I did some research into Student Conservation Association, since I think she's working with them and I found a couple of positions that sound close enough to what I want Elizabeth to be doing that I should be able to sell it. Unfortunately, once she moves onto the forestry job, I know very little since my professional experience in forests is extremely limited. Plus, the entire book takes place in the Olympic National Park, which I've visited only once. I'll be able to write the coastal stuff, but the forest stuff, again, is going to be guesswork until I can actually make a trip there again to check some things out. I'm hoping to find books at the library to help me fill in some of the gaps in my knowledge.
I will be running, doing research and writing queries for YMMV and celiac disease in the morning, and working on the novel each day ONLY AFTER the other work is done. I'm excited. I really had no desire to write another long form piece, but now that I've been thinking about this, it's got me interested. This should be fun, and useful, whether I get to 50,000 words or just start a new project that will keep me working for several months.
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