An Old Friend Returns, Part Two
Mood:  surprised

Recently, when an old friend with whom I hadn't spoken in ten years sent me an email message to say hello again, I found myself, in only my second email response to him, asking, "What challenges have you conquered? Paint me a picture of your life!"

Excuse me, "what challenges have you conquered?"!  What gave me the right to ask such a grandiose question?!  I am still shocked I asked it.

Even more shocking is that he answered it - with a long list of accomplishments.  He had taken on an amazing new job, moved to a place he less-than-loved but stuck it out long enough to buy a house and put down roots, gone back to school, started his own business, strengthened his marriage, worked hard to improve the ways in which he interacts with the world, and completed the 6-day Ride the Rockies bicycle trek. 

In my defense, this is a Big Ride friend, so when we met we were both focused on overcoming challenges, and it wasn't completely off-base for me to demand to know what challenges he had faced in the past ten years.  But, still, it's a frightening question.

What challenges have I overcome in the past ten years?  I immediately think of all the things with which I'm still struggling - my health and weight, my organization skills (or lack thereof), my apparent unwillingness to take myself seriously in a professional sense (especially as a writer), recurring depression, indecision about whether or not to have a child. But, then, if I keep thinking long enough, I realize there are things I have accomplished, as well.

I wrote my first book-length manuscript and sent it out into the world enough times to rack up twenty-five letters of rejection from agents!  I published my first short story. I learned to swim in open water, despite paralyzing fear, and completed three triathlons.  I completed a half-marathon, even though I wanted to die when it was over. I bought a house and my first new car.  I started a career in the arts and have slowly proven to myself where my talents lie.  I became a landlord, not just a property manager. I designed and taught five new classes and worked experimentally as an artist at the zoo. I have strengthened my own marriage.  I started down the path of energy healing. I tried on, and discarded dozens and dozens of potential career paths, in order to come back (yet again!) to writing, education, and activism as my true vocations.  I have built a life around my dog and my family, proving to myself that even if I don't have a child of my own, I do have what it takes to be responsible to those I love.

In comparison to the adventures of my twenties, the accomplishments of my thirties seem small and less than noteworthy.  They were hard won over long periods of time, so it is easy to overlook them.  The past ten years may not have been about grand travel or bold career advancement, but the work I have done is important foundation-building work that will make it easier for me to take on grand adventures and make bold career moves from a place of strength and stability in the future.  

I turned 40 two weeks ago, and I was hoping, in my still childlike heart, to see a breathtaking, instantaneous transformation of my entire life, some magical reward for becoming a "responsible grown-up."  That hasn't happened, but I trust--I have no other choice!--that I am still moving forward toward greater authenticity and endeavors that will allow me to use my full self--and, god-willing, toward some good, old-fashioned adventure travel!  Toward those ends (at least in in some oblique way, I hope) I have decided to become a certified North Carolina Environmental Educator and have signed up for my first two classes.  I have considered several certification programs (virtual assistant, creativity coach, social media marketing specialist), and this is the one that is the perfect fit for who I am--even if it may not be the perfect one on which to build an independent career.

Reading about my friend's cycling accomplishments even has me motivated to get back out on the bike. I received an email today about a two-day ride to benefit cerebral palsy patients and another one about a twelve-week running clinic.  Time to get moving again, I guess! 

So what challenges have you overcome in the past ten years?  How does thinking about your life in large chunks of time, rather than in terms of your everyday life, affect your view of who you are and your journey on this planet?