Preparing for the Crash
Mood:  caffeinated
Topic: Daily Eruptions
I'm speeding. That's my new term for the emotional state an M.D., an M.A., and I agreed in September we are not going to call a manic episode. It's a highly creative state - which we all agree is good for an artist- but instead of getting a nice, slow, steady burn, I dump all my fuel and light it up all at once. Very exciting, but also extremely draining, not to mention maybe a little dangerous. Today it feels like I'm slamming my brain at 120 miles an hour into a funnel. Energy - ideas for articles, an idea for a short essay, the need to tell Mary about the new research project we need to do right now because it is so friggin' timely, the desire to get the checkbook balanced and all the bills paid so I can stop worrying I'm missing something, questions about background research for the research project I want to propose to Mary, an urge to get to work on the curriculum research for PestEd combined with questions about a query I just read on pesticide-free methods of getting rid of lice, email messages I want to write - is going in dozens of directions, but my body and my time (as I experience it) can only go in one, hence the funnel that has to sort through and prioritize the flying energy. The worst part is that there is metacognition going on, and metaemotion, so there is an energy drain occurring as a result of all the primary thoughts and emotions, plus an additional drain caused by all the thinking and feeling I'm doing about what I'm thinking and feeling. I can sense the impending crash, and I'm not looking forward to it!

Today has been weird all around. I didn't get enough sleep last night since I was up late writing, and by the time I got to work I realized I had been scratching a place on the back of my leg repeatedly for quite some time. I started allergy shots at a new clinic yesterday. This is my third time getting shots in the last six years, but I haven't received any injections since September. Today both of the injection sites on my arms look fine, but when I finally checked out my leg, there was a red rash spreading down the back. The nurse insists that it couldn't have been caused by the injections, but with my body, anything is possible. I had to go out and buy Benadryl, and now it looks like I'm going to have to start carrying a purse. I am such a pack rat that I try to limit myself to carrying a wallet. In this round of allergy testing, however, we discovered that I am deathly allergic to shellfish and extremely allergic to just about everything that swims. I had an epipen that I started carrying on shot days because I was having softball-sized reactions to my injections in Seattle, but now I've been instructed to carry my inhaler, my epipen, and liquid Benadryl with me everywhere I go. It amazes me that I could be 37 years old before I found out about a life threatening food allergy, but I guess it helps that I grew up in Michigan far from fresh seafood, and that I've never liked the texture of things from the ocean. All I can say is it's a good thing I was too nervous to eat at the seafood buffet Ken took me to for prom!