Reminiscent of Tom and Viv
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Ready to Fly by Richard Marx
Topic: Daily Eruptions
I woke up cranky again today, almost as though it was a chemical imbalance. Now that I think about it, it probably was a chemical imbalance. I had a caffeinated Pepsi at lunch yesterday and have eaten a Weight Watchers lowfat chocolate ice cream sandwich every day this week because they were on sale last weekend. Chocolate+Dairy+Caffeine=Cranky Bitch.

It doesn't help that the sky is still overcast today. What I really want to do is get in the car and burn some fossil fuels, but I told Candy I'd watch the kids this afternoon so she and Al could go to a movie. So after giving Hans hell first thing this morning, I read the two short stories in the June edition of The Sun (both amazing, check them out online here), went to the allergist, and somehow made it home without stopping at the grocery store for a donut, the thing I can be sure will smooth out a bad mood even if it might contribute to a later bad mood. Instead of giving in to the craving, I came home and made myself Tangerine Orange Zinger tea and took the notebook I nearly filled at Mackinac last summer out to the deck to write. For the most part, all healthy behaviors except that I maybe should have waited until I was calmer to talk to Hans. It was stuff that needed saying, but because I said it when I was in a mood, I'm not sure he understands that. I tried to speak in a level tone, and when he asked why I was so pissed off, I said I wasn't pissed off, I was resolute, and he said, "Okay, don't get pissed off telling me you're not pissed off!"

Unfortunately, I was pissed off, and not just at him. John told me he thought my story was sexist, so he and I have been having what he calls a "debate" over gender differences by email all week. I felt like I was being attacked and talked down to and as though the man had completely forgotten everything he knows about me, so yesterday I put a halt to the email debate and said I'd call him last night so we could continue in a manner that would allow me to hear his tone in addition to his words. We had only gotten a few minutes into the conversation when Chaz beeped in on John's phone. Chaz is getting married this summer and John was supposed to perform the ceremony. Because of his recent operation, though, John won't be able to travel to the wedding and is now only doing pre-marital counseling with the couple--something I find a little interesting given the speed with which John recently proposed, married, and divorced his high school sweetheart. Apparently, Chaz and his fiancee were in need last night, so John got off the phone to help them. I was frustrated because I'd stayed up late in order to reach him at home, which causes friction between me and Hans because the dog keeps him awake until I come to bed, and I still hadn't resolved anything with John.

I'm feeling better now, and tomorrow will be better still. I do well on days I have a set agenda, and tomorrow I have an early morning ten mile run and then Hans and I are going to drive to Greensboro to look around some more. There's a builder we want to talk to and we need to look into other apartment options. Tuesday is the day we'll know for sure that we're moving, and the mad dash will begin in earnest.