Tactical Error
Mood:  happy
Topic: Marathon
I let myself sleep too late this morning before getting out to do my ten mile workout. I don't sleep well on the night before the long runs, probably worrying about not hearing the alarm or not getting up. And even though the alarm was set for, and went off at, 5:00 a.m., I didn't get up until 7:00. With dressing, pills, inhalers, breakfast, walking Kaija and feeding her, I wasn't out the door until 8:00 and by then it was humid, the sun was out full blast, and it was already too late. The heat index was 93 degrees.

I walked the first half mile to warm up, then started my watch. I managed the first mile in 13.5 minutes, which made me very happy because I was shooting for 14, by running four minutes and walking one. Unfortunately, I couldn't sustain this, or couldn't bring myself to work that hard. I eventually settled down into a run one minute, walk one minute rhythm which was manageable for the first two hours. After that, somewhere in mile 8, I decided it was too hot and I allowed myself to walk the last two miles completely. It's days like this when a coach would be good. A coach would have urged me to keep running and would also have been there if I got into trouble. I'm probably too easy on myself and would have achieved more mental benefit, and physical maybe too, if I'd forced myself to keep up the running.

By the time I'd finished 10.5 miles, though, I was every bit as wasted as I'd felt last week after twenty. I drank both water and Gatorade twice as fast this week as last, couldn't bring myself to actually eat anything once I'd started, and began getting chills after only three miles. I shivered throughout the workout, but I continued to sweat, so I decided that was probably okay.

I'm running out of time, and there is a real possibility that I will need to be bussed over the bridge for being slow and may be the last person to cross the finish line. These thoughts went through my head while I was out there today and they definitely weren't helpful. I tried to counter them each time they came up by reminding myself that I will finish--I always finish, workouts and races--and that as long as I'm still training and as long as I get to the starting line, I've already accomplished something. This for me is about the process and not the outcome, and I'm still in the process, so all's well. I even managed to smile a few times today and I am walking better after this week's workout than I did last week, so maybe I'll have the energy to get some work done around the house.