Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
Topic: Books
I started reading the book Blink by Malcolm Gladwell over the weekend. It's a fascinating, fun, fast read that I just can't seem to put down once I've allowed myself to pick it up. It's about rapid cognition - the unconscious thinking that goes on in the first two seconds when a person is introduced to something new, such as an idea, a person, or a piece of art - and about when that unconscious thinking is valuable and when it might be leading us in the wrong direction.

The first thing that surprised me about it is that, among many other things, it discusses speed-dating and marriage. I spent most of Saturday night wondering if Hans was my Getty Museum kouros - something I immediately thought was not right (for me), but that I convinced myself was right (in spite of evidence that my first instinct might have been correct), and most of Sunday convinced that John Gottman's Four Horsemen: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling had consumed my marriage and that Hans and I were inevitably spiraling toward divorce. (Unfortunately, the fear that this was true actually made me that much more unpleasant to be around, and, whenever I wasn't reading, I was making it difficult for Hans to like me. I can be such a joy!) At this point you're wondering why I would call a book that tolls the bell for my marriage fun and fascinating, I'm sure.

With a little distance, I realized that if John Gottman could tell whether a couple was headed for divorce within three minutes of listening to them discuss a contentious aspect of their marriage, he probably had also found ways to help people change the course they were on. And, in fact, this is true. Not only does Dr. Gottman have two books written on the subject - both of which I have ordered as my gift to me and Hans for our marriage anniversary next week - but he also has video tapes and weekend seminars in Seattle that we can avail ourselves of if the books don't help. And still a little more distance helped me realize that Hans and I are already working on repairing our relationship and that my suddenly seeing us through Gottman's paradigm didn't make that any less true. So I've relaxed a little about all of that, and am just enjoying the book. I have one chapter left and I'm trying to use the privilege of reading that as my reward for getting my new filing cabinet installed in my home office and getting the boxes of papers I've been collecting finally filed. I don't get to turn on the t.v. tonight (which means no Gilmore Girls) or pick up the book until after every piece of paper is filed. (Which probably means I also won't get to pick up the book or turn on the t.v. tomorrow night either!)

The book has made me want to try some personal experiments with priming and with environmental manipulation as a means of influencing behavior and productivity. Plus, it has made me reconsider my feelings about being judged by other people and whether I might actually want to put more effort into making a good first impression in all aspects of my life, and not just my professional life. (I can't say that's going to happen, just that I'm thinking about it. As a person struggling to learn to live by internal motivation rather than external, I might want to hold onto my ability to go out of the house with no make up and wet hair without concern for what anyone else is going to think.)

Gladwell is an excellent writer - even though he does give his reader a little too much credit for being able to keep all of his various researchers and experts and characters straight - and I'm thinking that now I will have to check out his first book, The Tipping Point, as well, especially since its subject - the conditions under which social change occurs - is so close to my heart.